Every dating has that honeymoon period. It may last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. Once the intense cuteness has dwindled, generally things have settled to the point you are at ease and cozy with each other. This does not mean your man has gone off of you; it is just some other level on your dating.
But when things seem to take a sour turn, who’s to blame? Has he lost interest in you, or is it just a normal road bump you two have to work out?
Here are some signs your boyfriend, partner, husband, or potential boyfriend is going off of you.
- From 100 to a Flat Nothing
He goes from full-on gushing Niagara Falls to a leaky tap in a public toilet.
If your man in question was talking to you a lot, calling, texting, trying to make conversation, and wanting to see you, then suddenly slows down, you should be worried. Men are very abrupt when they lose interest. Going from lots of talking to no response isn’t an accident. He’s sending you a sign.
I have seen men use this trick when they want rid of someone but not entirely. It means he’s not really interested, but he’s not burning bridges so that you’re still there for a lonely night. If he suddenly texts you a bit out of the blue one Friday night after several days or weeks of not talking, he hasn’t been busy. He’s been playing the field, and now that there’s nobody else around, he wants to hook up
- Plans? What Plans?
He stops planning dates—or even planning when he’ll see you next.
When you first start dating someone, it’s all excitement. You want to meet them for a drink, go and see a film, get some dinner, or even just hang out at home together. So if he begins to lose interest in making plans, then it may be a sign that he’s losing interest in you. Men are keen creatures, and when they are interested in a woman, they will actively pursue seeing her again. If he’s starting to lose interest in you, his plans will become vague. He’ll start saying he wants to do something “another day” and cancelling dates at the last minute (or just not showing up).
If you have no idea when you will see him next and it’s been a few days, he’s not trying to see you. And if that’s the case, it might be time for you to pull away.
- He Becomes Vague
He never gives you details.
This also ties in with the above statement. When a man starts become vague about plans, his texts become less enthusiastic, and you go longer periods of time with less communication from his end, it’s likely he is losing interest.
If you’re having a hard time learning his plans, only to find out he’s been going out with his friends or family, then it’s time to move on from this man. He clearly isn’t making time for you when he has plenty of it.
- The Awkward Talk Never Comes
He’d rather not put a label on things because he’s not looking for the relationship to progress.
An early sign that he is losing interest is when he doesn’t seem to want to put a label on anything. This is an especially strong warning if you’ve been going out for a few weeks and things seem to be going well.
We all have to face that awkward talk to establish just how we feel and whether we’re in a relationship. If it has been a few weeks and he’s doing the following, then it’s a sign he’s not actually looking for a relationship with you:
Not taking the step of asking you to become official
Not mentioning anything that even hints that he wants something more serious
Making vague excuses about friends or wanting to be sure you’re right for him, yet he continues to pursue you intimately and treat you like a girlfriend
It’s time to stop dating him. He’s just stringing you along until the next person.
- He Stops Making an Effort
He went from a romantic to a slob who’s never around.
Whether he’s letting his personal appearance and hygiene slide, the quality of your dates is becoming disappointing, or his behaviour is below par, if he’s making much less effort than he was initially, it’s probably because he’s losing interest. If your first date blew you off your feet, your second date was beautifully romantic, your third was cute and fun, your fourth was wild and crazy, and then suddenly he’s taking you to a fast food restaurant or swinging by for an hour to hit on you, he’s not all that interested.
When a man is interested he will make an effort. He will want to impress the woman and get to know her, and to do so, he will want to look his best to make sure she thinks he’s a catch. A woman will do the same thing when she’s interested in a guy. So if you notice his effort is diminishing, it might be time to call off the dates.
He ignores you and sometimes even shows contempt.
When a nice, polite, sweet guy who seems genuinely interested in you begins acting rude, you shouldn’t let it slide. By rude, I mean:
He ignores you
He makes offensive jokes
He seems to be sneering at things you’re saying
Any of these things can happen in person, on the phone, or by text.
Think about it: How many times have you gone out with someone that you lost interest in and began to feel annoyed with? Perhaps you were intentionally rude to some guy just so he would leave you alone? Men use this same trick on women.
If he’s saying things in an attempt to provoke a response (e.g.: cracking woman jokes, mocking you, making rude blunt statements, being short with you, swearing inappropriately or making you feel bad in any way), you should avoid him.
You don’t have to tolerate anything from this guy, and you don’t owe him anything. If he’s being rude, he’s likely not very interested in you. If he were, he would do his best to be a kind, impressive human being.
- “Meet My Friend”
He starts using the word “friends” around you more often.
When you notice he’s referring to you as a “friend,” saying you’re a good friend, that you have a good friendship, or that he’s glad you’re friends, he may be trying to gently let you down.
So take a hint. He just wants to be friends, and he doesn’t see you as anything more. To be fair, this is on of the kinder ways for him to do so.
If he’s talking about friends and friendship, he doesn’t see you as girlfriend material now or in the near future.
- He Hits on You Excessively
He avoids the relationship talk but is always talking seductively.
By “hitting,” I don’t mean beating you; I mean he’s trying to get lucky with you. The more winks he sends, the more seductive he tries to be, and the more persistent he is with intimacy, the less likely it is that he views you as a girlfriend. He probably sees you more as a friend with benefits or even a random girl to hook up with.
If you’ve tried discussing your relationship, hanging out without getting intimate, and going on normal dates, but he still pursues you like that do not sleep with him. He is not going to respect your body. Instead, he will use you, leave you, and make you feel bad about yourself. You don’t deserve someone that is only after you for some fun. You deserve someone who has a real interest in being with you.
- A Lack of Phone Calls
He doesn’t call, and he doesn’t want you to.
A giveaway to the fact your man is losing interest is when he doesn’t call you. Men who are interested will phone you, talk to you, and actually speak to you on the phone for a period of time. If you offer to call him and he says he’s busy or tells you to call tomorrow (which never happens), it’s a sign he doesn’t want to pursue an active ongoing conversation with you.
You wouldn’t normally phone your friends as much as you would a lover, so avoiding phone calls may just mean that he considers you a friend.
Or it’s possible he’d rather you didn’t phone because it’s much harder to ignore a call than a text or an online chat. This ties in with being vague and not making plans—if you don’t call, it’s easier for him to distance himself.
You should be wary even if he never really called you from the beginning. Look at it this way: You’re interested and would like to call him up, right? So he should feel the same way if he’s into you.